Children of this generation are facing challenges that other generations have not had to consider. Gun violence has recently surpassed car accidents as the leading cause of death in children. The Coronavirus quarantine heightened the feeling of isolation and loneliness in an already anxious and depressed generation, and the pressures of social media are crushing the confidence that builds the foundation of a healthy self-image. Self-esteem expert, Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul, notes that 80 percent of children entering the first grade scored high on the self-esteem inventory. However, by the fifth grade, only 20 percent of the children scored high on the inventory. By the time they graduated from high school, that number was down to just 5 percent. How do we address such a drastic decline in self-image and confidence?

Parents yearn for their children to live a life with confidence. The challenge is that most parents state that “they have no idea how to give their children confidence when they do not already have.” This is why learning foundational skills that help cultivate and nurture confidence in oneself should be implemented in a child’s early life. Learning and utilizing these practices can help to cure the chain reaction that has continued to cycle throughout generations. 

Confidence is a skill that is rarely taught. It is even overlooked in most social-emotional curriculums administered throughout schools worldwide today. This is why the CAPE Mindset Method, an all-inclusive mindset and empowerment program started by previous educators Renee Vardouniotis and Angie Leitnaker, has greatly emphasized confidence-building skills throughout their programs. 

Confidence can and should be acquired, and some tools help nurture it throughout our lifetime. In fact, it is essential that our confidence (which is directly tied to our self-image) consistently evolves and enhances throughout our lives. It is essential because, without it, those bumps of life, failures, and times when we’re not feeling our best will be overwhelming. And when something becomes so overwhelming that it begins to feel impossible, we lose an opportunity to practice resilience and, in turn, lose an opportunity to build our confidence even more. As Vardouniotis and Leitnaker say, “Becoming disciplined through our disappointments has to become a priority for upcoming generations.” 

The strategies that can be used to build confidence are not difficult. The CAPE Mindset Method, an all-inclusive mindset program, has simplified the strategies down further for young children and adolescents to understand and apply. A few of those strategies can be found below:

1. Learning Positive Qualities from Others (Admiration, not comparison)

List a few people that you love in your mind or on a piece of paper. Once you have created a list of those people, begin to think of qualities that they have that you love or feel proud of. Once you have identified some of those qualities, begin to work to embody those qualities yourself. Sometimes it is easier to see positive qualities in people around us than it is to see positive qualities in ourselves. You can only truly see in someone else what’s already within you. Using admiration as inspiration helps us to avoid comparison. 

For Example: If you look up to Oprah Winfrey, think of or write down three to four specific qualities of Oprah that you truly admire. Maybe they are that she’s ambitious, that she’s a philanthropist, and that she turned pain into passion and purpose. Now, when noticing these in Oprah and beginning to emulate it yourself, you will begin to see that you also are ambitious, already have the qualities of a philanthropist, and have channeled your pain into passion. This realization increases your confidence and positively affects your self-image.

2. Affirmations (‘I Am’ Statements)

Yes, affirmations are trending, but that does not negate the fact that there is a proven science behind it. ‘I Am’ statements recondition or condition your subconscious. Feeding yourself positivity changes your vibration and belief patterns. So after identifying the qualities in someone else you want to emulate, you can use them in ‘I Am’ statements. 

For Example, I love that Oprah is ambitious. Instead of comparing myself to Oprah and wishing I could be like her, I should begin to say, “I am ambitious.” 

This is what’s most powerful about affirmations. Affirmations validate the difference between admiring and comparing. So many young girls have filled their vocabulary with words that assist them in comparing themselves to others. Changing the rhetoric from “I wish I looked like her” to “I admire that in her and would love to display that in myself” is crucial. This rhetoric changes our mindset from lack to abundance.

3. Actively Volunteering or Donating to a Cause You Care About

When kids see that their actions can make a positive difference in the world, they will be more likely to feel positive about themselves and their communities. For example, activities such as donating food, participating in a clothing drive, or cutting a neighbor’s lawn can tremendously affect the community you live in and your child’s perception of themselves. 

Overall, it is clear that breaking the cycle of self-doubt has to be a priority for parents everywhere. CAPE Movement has built a community of families and children that meet and network to do this. This means parents don’t have to navigate the world of the unknown on their own. 

If you’re interested in learning more, contact the CAPE team through their Calendly Link: www.calendly.com/angie-leitnaker.