In the competitive world of online coaching, trust is the currency that determines success. With so many coaches vying for attention on social media, standing out isn’t just about having eye-catching content or impressive credentials—it’s about how you communicate. For Brian Mark, a $10M coach, podcast host, and the author of $10 Million Instagram Funnel: The Blueprint for Online Coaches, the way coaches show up in conversations is often the deciding factor between being ignored or being hired.

One of the biggest mistakes coaches make in the direct message (DM) sales process, according to Mark, is relying on vague, surface-level responses like “I can help with that.” At first glance, it may seem like a polite, professional reply. But in reality, it’s generic, uninspiring, and ultimately forgettable. It doesn’t move the conversation forward. It doesn’t demonstrate understanding. And most importantly, it doesn’t offer value.

Mark teaches that when someone shares their struggles—whether in a comment, a DM, or a story interaction—it’s not an opportunity to insert a one-liner and hope for the best. It’s a chance to personalize your response, build rapport, and lead with service. Saying “I can help with that” may feel safe and efficient, but it lacks the emotional depth and relevance needed to truly connect with someone who is vulnerable enough to share their problem.

The distinction Brian Mark makes is subtle but powerful. Generic responses keep the conversation on the surface. Personalized replies make the follower feel seen. And in an online world that often feels transactional, that feeling is rare—and valuable.

Let’s consider a common coaching interaction. A follower replies to a story about struggling to stay on track with workouts, admitting that they start strong but lose momentum after a week or two. A typical coach might respond with, “Yeah, that’s super common. I can help with that!” While the intention is good, the message falls flat. It doesn’t acknowledge the specific problem. It doesn’t explain how the coach helps. And it doesn’t make the follower feel understood.

Now compare that to a response rooted in Mark’s strategy: “Totally hear you—so many of my clients felt that way before we started working together. What we did was build a 3-day routine that’s easy to stick to, even on busy weeks. I’d be happy to share how we set it up if you’re open to it.” This message hits differently. It references real experience, speaks directly to the pain point, and invites the follower into a more meaningful exchange. It shows the coach has a process. It builds credibility without needing a pitch. And it opens the door for further conversation without pressure.

In the $10 Million Instagram Funnel, Mark emphasizes that personalization isn’t just a nice touch—it’s a strategic advantage. The best coaches are those who know how to translate understanding into action. Instead of offering vague assurances, they explain how their method works and why it’s relevant to the person they’re talking to. They don’t just say, “I’ve got a program for that.” They say, “Here’s what I did for someone just like you.”

This kind of messaging doesn’t come from guessing or winging it. It’s the result of intentional discovery, which is another key principle in Mark’s framework. Before a coach can offer a personalized solution, they first need to understand the follower’s situation in detail. That’s why Brian teaches coaches to ask deeper questions at the beginning of every DM conversation. Rather than diving into sales mode, the focus should be on learning—what they’ve tried before, what they’re struggling with, what they hope to achieve. This information becomes the foundation for a response that feels personal, relevant, and trustworthy.

Mark’s approach to DMs mirrors the way a skilled professional might approach a consultation. You wouldn’t go to a doctor and receive a prescription before sharing your symptoms. Similarly, coaches shouldn’t present a solution before they understand the problem. By listening first and tailoring the response accordingly, coaches create a dynamic that feels more like collaboration and less like a sales pitch.

Another critical insight Brian shares is that personalization doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It’s not about writing long-winded replies or reinventing your approach for every single message. In fact, the most successful coaches have systems in place that allow for both consistency and authenticity. They may have message frameworks, examples, and client stories at the ready—but they adapt them to match the conversation in front of them. It’s not a copy-paste game. It’s about using proven language in a thoughtful way.

The long-term payoff of this strategy is immense. When someone receives a personalized message, they’re more likely to respond. When they feel understood, they’re more likely to trust. And when they believe you’ve helped others in their exact situation, they’re more likely to book a call and become a client. This is how Mark built his multi-million-dollar coaching business—not with ads or viral content, but with consistent, personalized conversations that prioritized service over selling.

For coaches who feel stuck or frustrated with the lack of responses in their DMs, this article is a wake-up call. If your conversations aren’t converting, the problem might not be your audience—it might be your messaging. Saying “I can help with that” isn’t enough anymore. People are bombarded with messages every day. If you want to stand out, you have to go deeper.

Brian Mark’s book offers not just a theory, but a clear blueprint for implementing this approach. From sample conversations to question prompts and message templates, $10 Million Instagram Funnel gives coaches the tools they need to upgrade their communication and generate consistent results. It’s a reminder that while content builds awareness, it’s conversations that build relationships—and relationships that drive revenue.

Ultimately, the key to success in the DM inbox isn’t clever phrasing or manipulative tactics. It’s genuine interest. It’s taking a moment to connect with someone on a human level. It’s asking, listening, and responding in a way that reflects experience, empathy, and expertise. That’s what sets high-performing coaches apart—and that’s what Brian Mark teaches.

For any coach tired of sending messages that disappear into the void, or watching warm leads go cold, this lesson could be the turning point. The next time someone opens up in your DMs, don’t reach for the default reply. Take a breath. Think like Brian. And say something that actually matters.

You can buy your copy of The $10 Million Instagram Funnel now!

To connect with Brian Mark and learn more about his strategies for online coaching success, you can follow him on Instagram at @therealbrianmark. You can also tune into his podcast, The Change Lives Make Money Online Trainer, or check out his YouTube channel, where he shares valuable insights and tips.