By: Yuliia Kovalova, Family Mediator and Conflict Coach
Divorce is not only a legal process that dissolves the marital bond between spouses but also an event that can significantly affect the psychological well-being of children. One of the severe consequences of divorce for children is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), where one parent systematically instills a negative perception of the other parent in the child’s mind, leading to long-lasting emotional and psychological harm.
Understanding PAS
Parental alienation is a process in which a child becomes a tool in the hands of one parent against the other. This includes manipulation, negative statements, and even false accusations aimed at destroying the child’s love and respect for the alienated parent. The reasons for PAS are varied but often relate to one parent’s desire to control the situation or unresolved emotional conflicts after the divorce.
Psychological Consequences for Children
Children who experience PAS undergo deep emotional stress. They may suffer from anxiety and depression and have difficulties forming trusting relationships in the future. The fear of losing one parent or being rejected by them leads to a constant internal conflict, disrupting the child’s normal emotional development.
Strategies to Minimize the Impact of PAS
Education and Prevention
One of the first steps in preventing PAS is educating parents about the consequences of such alienation on the child’s psyche. Parents need to understand that conflicts and negative remarks about the other parent not only affect their relationship but can also cause irreparable harm to the child.
Professional Support
Psychologists and family therapists play a crucial role in treating and preventing PAS. Professional help can be invaluable for parents in managing their emotions and developing strategies to protect children from the psychological impact of divorce. Therapy can include individual and family sessions that help strengthen relationships between parents and children and teach all family members healthy ways to express emotions and resolve conflicts.
Conflict-Free Communication
Teaching parents constructive communication means providing them with tools to reduce conflict in the presence of children. Parents should strive to maintain neutral and respectful communication with each other, even if they are in conflict. This includes avoiding discussions of legal and personal disputes in the presence of children and using mediators or counselors for communication when necessary.
Developing Parenting Plans
An effectively crafted parenting plan can prevent many situations that could contribute to PAS. Such a plan considers visitation schedules, holidays, and other important events that require coordination between parents. The goal is to create clear and stable conditions for the child’s life to minimize stress and prevent potential conflicts.
Using Technology to Improve Communication
Modern technology offers various tools to help parents improve communication and coordination. Apps for managing parenting time, sharing calendars, and even specialized communication platforms can help parents stay connected without the need for direct contact, which can be useful in high-conflict situations.
Role of Educational Institutions
Schools and other educational institutions also play a critical role in the lives of children experiencing parental alienation. Teachers and school psychologists should be trained to recognize signs of PAS and be able to provide support or refer to additional resources. Educational programs aimed at developing emotional regulation skills and building confidence can have a significantly positive impact on children.
Practical Examples
In practice, successful cases of overcoming PAS often include scenarios where parents, perhaps initially unconsciously engaging in alienation, later, with the help of professionals, manage to change their behavior and restore healthy relationships with their child. For example, a family where a mother, with the help of a therapist, realizes her influence on the child’s perception of the father and works on rebuilding their relationship. Such stories confirm that with the right approach and sufficient support, it is possible to reduce the negative impact of PAS on children.
Conclusion
Parental alienation is a complex and painful phenomenon, but its consequences can be minimized through education, support, and proper strategy. Working with qualified specialists, paying close attention to the needs and feelings of the child, and utilizing all available resources can significantly improve the situation and help the entire family move forward after a divorce.
Published by: Martin De Juan
